Gained 100lbs in 3 years

This is a throwaway cause I’m so ashamed.

Hi. I am a 28 year old woman. And I can’t stop eating.

So the weight gain started happening after I had my son via emergency c-section. Before that I was in literally the best shape in my life. I had lost 60lbs and was very active and healthy. I was hiking at 9 months pregnant no problem.

After I had my son I couldn’t snap back to the way I was before because I had to recover from the surgery and I had a new priority.

Now looking back at it I would kill to have postpartum body.

Ever since I had my son I have just been eating like shit. Fast food chips pastries anything and everything.

I’ve tried getting back into my groove and I was a month and a half into a program when my mom died.
Her death has affected me in a way I can’t describe. I don’t take care of myself. Like at all. I eat crappy snacks all day I don’t workout and don’t even try.

In February we got a treadmill and my husband got me a Fitbit for Mother’s Day. I was losing weight. But i sprained my pinky toe and completely stopped exercising all together. I’m just getting bigger and bigger and I truly want to stop but I fucking can’t.
I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll have a heart attack or stroke when my husbands at work and my poor toddler will be home alone crying with my corpse. I miss being healthy and active and just happy. How do I find the motivation again? It’s not easy for me to “just start” like I had in the past. And it’s hard with my toddler at home. Idfk. Please somebody help.

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/i8r5nq/gained_100lbs_in_3_years/